When I look at this again, chubby may be a bit harsh :)
The guy I was dating also had a collection of short porns on his computer. He and I talked about the whole fantasy thing...he feels that if we are together he shouldn't have fantasies about anyone real (like a coworker) or ex-girlfriends...he feels it's disrespectful to me. I don't have a problem if he fantasizes about Carmen Electra or something once in awhile, and I don't care if he looks at porn once in awhile as long as it isn't interfering in his sexual relations with me (it never did...he usually only masturbated if I wasn't around or we didn't really have time to have sex). What is it that bothers you so much? Does he still have sex with you? Or has porn/masturbation replaced your sex life together?
He is making himself emotionally available to her, but what about to you? It sounds like he is being unfair, and you need to talk to him about it right away ( from the sound of things you have already done this). Their friendship has to stop, now. She has a boyfriend, let him be the one she confides in, etc. if that is not feasible, an female friend will have to suffice.
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